I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
