But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize