mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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