there was a trapeze. enough said
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
My dick has a subreddit
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
