Don't you send me to vm
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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