He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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