Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Dating After Heartbreak
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride