Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
30+ People Share Their Worst ‘Intimate Experience’ And They’re Traumatizing
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
they're reeeeeally big trays
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.