please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!