Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize