my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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