I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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