I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
