u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
