One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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