A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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