No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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