the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
