sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
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I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave