thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
We don't watch enough power rangers
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.