I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
