If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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