he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
