i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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