At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus