Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.