Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?