a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize