Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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