Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
