Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize