Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
we're so committed to being not committed
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