Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize