Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
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