Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
