Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
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Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
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Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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