I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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