when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize