How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
what day is it and did you see me today?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize