what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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