get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
