you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize