who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
