Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize