Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
