dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I think this conversation is over.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?