Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Don't tell me you're on acid again