All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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