roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
