if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
