I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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