He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize