Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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