I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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