I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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