Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
