i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
someone owes me an orgasm
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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