I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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